i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
