so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
