Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
