she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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