I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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