I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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