Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she woke up with a sticky ear
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
