I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
