just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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