my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
