He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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