Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
