Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
