# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
