Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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