Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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