People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
