the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
