Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
