is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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