He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
