YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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