Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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