Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
