my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
