yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
