Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
