i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's blow job season.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
40s are totally the cure
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
