You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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