Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
