She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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