Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
