we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my god I love twenty year old dicks
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
