You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
