idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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