...so i touched it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
