so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What a dumb baby whore.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
