People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
