How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
