You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
