All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
