And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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