I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
