she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
