I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
