anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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