they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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