I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
