God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
