the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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