I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want her autograph on my taint
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
