I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
