All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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